Monday, September 29, 2008
HELP!
Please help! I need advice. Kaleb is biting. Not just little nibbles, but almost blood drawing bites. It seems to happen when there's a struggle over a toy or something, and moms are out of the room. This is not good. He is a strong willed kid, very active, and a bit possesive(maybe cause he is now the middle child). Anyway, I don't know how to deal with it and any advise would be helpful. So thank you.
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7 comments:
How do you handle it right now?
have him appologize an put him in time out and explain that biting is not nice and it hurts.
one thing you can do is to make sure that the child who got bit is the one who receives your attention and care. this reinforces that biting will not gain him extra attention.
he probably is looking for a little extra attention right now, being the middle child, and knows that an increase of attention is shown when he acts out negatively.
make a point to sit down- just with him- to read a book, or build with blocks, or color. share in whatever his interests are and make a concentrated effort to do those things with him. then he will know he has your attention and the negative attention-seeking behaviors should decrease.
Biting is a hard one too, most kids who bite do it because they can't communicate properly so they get the message across in other ways. I agree with trublrbyu, he needs some extra attention too he needs to see you make a big deal over his good works! Also if worse comes to worse you can probably won't but can, bite him back! Show him how it hurts and isnt' nice and he probably won't do it again! Just some suggestions!
I think what you're doing is fine. I know he doesn't have autism or anything, but we write "social stories" sometimes to help our kids understand what we're trying to teach them. Once time out is finished you could remind him how to ask for help if he needs it, or teach him some other positive behavior to replace the biting.
I might be a big meanie!!! but I vote for showing him how bad it hurts everytime he does it. Then he might think twice about doing it to someone else if he knows he will get it too.
My sister bit her son and he never did it again, but then again, he was a toddler so he was pretty young. I definitely agree that you should show the other kid the attention that they need after getting bit (after you set Kaleb in time out) definitely tell Kaleb how wrong it is, they understand more than we think they may. When Eli does something- we put him in time out but when he is done, we really talk to him. Why did you do that? Thats not very nice, is it? You need to tell him that youre sorry! Do you want me to do that to you? etc...When they know you are business, they usually respect you more for that. ALWAYS, tell him that you love him after time out!! P.S. Eli got bit in nursery once on the face! I could see the teeth mark on his cheek! It was horrible!
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